Content If you'd have told me a year ago But look Comedy The world is changing I wanna help to leave this world better than I found it Healing the world with comedy The world is so f*cked up Healing the world with comedy I'm a special kind of white guy I'm bored Healing the world with comedy If you wake up in a house that's full of smoke
And I want to help to leave this world better than I found it I know what I gotta do FaceTime With My Mom Tonight Pour me a drink and clear my schedule I call, she answers and her hair is wet I tell my boys I need some
space, yeah She says, "Oh, look who's here. Say hi to dad!" Watching as she looks for her glasses My mother's covering her camera with her thumb How The World Works Hey, kids The world that's around us A bee drinks from a flower That is how the world works Hey everyone The simple narrative taught in every history class That is how the world works That's pretty intense That is how the world works No! White Woman's Instagram An open window White woman Latte foam art, tiny pumpkins White woman Her favorite photo of her mom A goat-cheese salad (Goat-cheese salad) White woman Unpaid Intern Who needs a coffee? Cause I'm doing a run Sorting papers, runnin' around (Runnin' around) You work all day, go back to your dorm Wa-da-da-wap-wa-da Bezos I CEO, entrepreneur CEO, entrepreneur Come on, Jeffrey, you can do it Tell us why Zuckerberg and Gates and Buffet [*screams*] Sexting Sexting I am in bed I am ready to go with you You send me a peach Sexting (Whoa) No more emojis, now
it's on to words I'm getting hot at just the thought of what I'd do to you Sexting (Whoa) You send the pic and say it's now my turn Another night on my own, yeah
Look Who's Inside Again Trying to be funny and stuck in a room I took a big f*cking breath Trying to be funny and stuck in a room I was a kid who was stuck in his room Well, well One more Problematic I grew up as your usual suburbanite I started doing comedy Times are changing [*moans*] I'm problematic I want to show you I've done a lot of self-reflecting Times are changing [*moan echoing*] I'm problematic And I've been totally awful And I've been totally awful And I'm really f*cking sorry 30 I used to
run for miles, I used to ride my bike I'm (Turning thirty, turning thirty) When he was twenty-seven, my granddad fought in Vietnam I'm (Turning thirty, turning thirty) And now my stupid friends are having stupid children It's 2020, and I'm thirty, I'll do another ten Don't Wanna Know How are you feeling? Do I have your attention? Is there anyone out there? Shit How we feelin' out there tonight? Wake up at 11:30, feelin' like a bag of shit (Oh no!) Are you feeling what I'm feeling? I'm not really feeling like I wanna get lit
Ladies (Yeah?) Do you feel like shit? All Time Low So, um... My, uh, my current mental health is is rapidly approaching an ATL ... which is, um... That's an all-time low. Not Atlanta. And, you know, I feel okay when I'm asleep. Like, when I'm asleep I feel alright. But it's basically... From the moment I wake up, I, uh... I just get this Feeling in my body, way down deep inside me Yeah, so, um, yeah. Not, not doing great Welcome to the Internet Welcome to the internet Welcome to the internet There's no need to panic Welcome to the internet Welcome to the internet Hold on to your socks See a man beheaded Start a
rumor, buy a broom Here's why women never f*ck you Could I interest you in everything Could I interest you in everything You know, it wasn't always like this Not very long ago This was
catalogues Now look at you Look at you [*laughing hysterically*] Could I interest you in everything Could I interest you in everything Bezos II Jeffery Bezos That Funny Feeling I can't really, uh, play the guitar very well or sing, so uh, apologies Stunning 8K-resolution meditation app There it is again The surgeon general's pop-up shop, Robert Iger's face There it is again Reading Pornhub's terms
of service, going for a drive There it is again Hey, what can you say? All Eyes on Me Get your f*cking hands up Are you feeling nervous? Are you having fun? We're going to go where everybody knows
Get your f*cking hands up Heads down, pray for me You wanna hear a funny story? So, uh... Five years ago, I quit performing live comedy, because I was beginning to have severe panic attacks while on stage, which is not a good place to have them. So I quit. And I didn't perform for five years, and I spent that time trying to improve myself mentally. And you know what? I did! I got better! I got so much better, in fact, that in January of 2020, I thought, "You know what? I should start performing again. I've been hiding from the world, and I need to re-enter." And then, the funniest thing happened... Are you feeling nervous? Are you having fun? You say the ocean's rising-like I give a shit We're going to go where everybody
knows Get your f*cking hands up Hands down, pray for me Get
your f*cking hands up Come on, heads down, pray for me Goodbye Um, possible, uh, ending song that is not finished yet So long, goodbye Does anybody want to joke So long, bye! I wanna hear you tell a joke Am I going crazy? Any Day Now It'll stop any day now (any day now, any day now) |