Long term relationship break up and get back together reddit

I'm grasping at straws at this point considering I'm currently blocked with barely any contact, but the small hope that she might take me back is about all I have keeping me going.

It seems that most people reconcile within a few weeks, but I'm wondering if anyone has any "success stories" of getting back together after a much longer period of time, such as 6 months or even over a year or two. If so, did you stay in contact during that time? Did you date other people, or did your ex date other people?

For those of you who are adamant about getting back together with your ex.

There's a trend I see happening with those who get back together and succeed and those who get back together and fail.

The trend seems to be the time spent apart from their ex.

The ones that succeed at reconciling and last are the ones who went through the healing process and changed for the better. All the while their ex was doing the same.

The ones that seem to fail (not all but most) are the ones that don't go through a healing phase. They don't learn what's really causing the issues within the relationship. They only see that they are missing something in their lives that is supposed to be routine at this point. These are the ones that base decisions off of raw emotions instead of using rationality and poise. Going into NC for a week and then getting back together doesn't help the relationship because it is so difficult to learn and understand underlying issues that have been there. These are the ones that are going through a withdrawal from the addiction they call a relationship. These are the types of relationships that struggle to stay together because neither party heals and learns from the mistakes, but instead continues to repeat them without understanding how to stop. They do not recognize that the relationship they are trying to preserve is unhealthy and they do not realize that their words "let's fix our issues" is almost impossible because they don't know what the actual issues are. They are trying to build a broken relationship on a broken foundation. This is why they fail more often than not.

This is why heartbreak is prolonged.

For the ones that seem to succeed. You both took the time to reflect, learn and grow to be a better you. This means you both were single for a while and healed properly. You became independent and happy. You even began to start dating and meet new people. Defining and narrowing down what you look for in a significant other. Both of you not only grow but show it in your character in your day to day lives. You're able to reconnect and feel happy for them and have easy going conversations. You're starting over again getting to know the new them. There is a new version of your ex in front of you. A new and improved one that has resolved their individual issues, but still has their main character as their foundation of who they are. These are the ones that succeed. They view eachother in a way that can be friendly again. They recognize that the relationship in front of them could be something they can grow again or they realize they can truly be friends.

These are the ones that succeed. The ones that have no ulterior motive for getting back together but genuinely enjoy eachothers company again. The ones that start fresh and leave the broken relationship behind and build a new one on a foundation more sturdy than ever before.

TL:DR - time spent away from your ex seems to be the biggest trend I've noticed on why reconciling works and doesnt work.

As someone who still has hope, I think getting back together is very much an individual case. By that I mean every couple is unique and you simply can’t and shouldn’t apply other people’s experience as rules to your relationship. I think getting back together requires:

• Two people whose life paths and goals align

• They had a good relationship and were compatible, not necessarily 100% because that’s unrealistic

• Two people who are both mature enough to know what they want, what they have to offer each other

I think most people don’t go back to their exes because, oh well, why go back to something that didn’t work out. But some are able to and willing to give it more thoughts and try again.

I guess the cliche what’s meant to be will be applies to this. If you and your ex get back together, it’s because you are both this type of person (or maybe you are both acting on raw emotions without really thinking about it, in which case you won’t be together again for long)

What percentage of long term relationships get back together?

Do most long term relationships break up and get back together?

Is it possible to get back together with someone you broke up a long time ago?

Do couples break up and get back together years later?