Show
Today Watch Explore When autocomplete results are available use up and down arrows to review and enter to select. Touch device users, explore by touch or with swipe gestures. Explore Art Save From funny-pictures-blog.com Rebellion - Viral Viral VideosThe Best MEMES and Funny Pictures! New Pics added EVERY HOUR!Amber Burger 92 followers More information Find this Pin and more on Funny by Amber Burger. Funny Animal Pictures Funny Photos Funny Animals Cute Animals Hilarious Pictures Funniest Pictures Bird Pictures Baby Animals Pet Signs More information ha the jokes on you...birds can't read!Find this Pin and more on Funny by Amber Burger. More like thisSome bad jokes only deserve eye rolls and groans. But somehow, these manage to still be funny.1 / 177 rd.comBad jokes that are actually pretty goodAh, bad jokes. They’re little guilty pleasures we indulge in with giddy enthusiasm every chance we get. They make us groan, say “Are you serious?”, and, of course, make us chuckle. Bad jokes can be short, corny, punny, and deliver some of the best one-liners ever. What’s not to love? If you’re a sucker for a good bad joke, you’re in luck. Below, you’ll find a list of our funniest jokes that just so happen to pack groan-worthy punchlines. Enjoy! Get Reader’s Digest‘s Read Up newsletter for more humor, cleaning, travel, tech and fun facts all week long. 2 / 177 rd.comKnock knock.Who’s there? Interrupting cow. Interrupting c– MOO! We had to start off this collection of bad jokes with one of the oldest knock-knock jokes in the book. 4 / 177 rd.comWhat did the fish say when he swam into a wall?Dam. Sometimes the best bad jokes are the shortest. Check out these short jokes for kids anyone can memorize. 7 / 177 rd.comWhat do you get when you combine a rhetorical question and a joke?… Get it? Bad jokes don’t even need a punch line to be funny! Check out the funniest jokes on the internet. 9 / 177 rd.comDid you hear about the Italian chef who died?He pasta-way. These hilarious animal cartoons prove that animals are funnier than humans. 10 / 177 rd.comTwo muffins were sitting in an oven.One turned to the other and said, “Wow, it’s pretty hot in here.” The other one shouted, “Wow, a talking muffin!” For more laughs, check out these travel cartoons that find the funny in everything. 11 / 177 rd.comI sold my vacuum the other day.All it was doing was collecting dust. If this one has you smirking, these dad jokes will really give you a chuckle. 12 / 177 rd.comWhat is Forrest Gump’s email password?1forrest1. 13 / 177 rd.comDid you hear about the guy who invented the knock-knock joke?He won the “no-bell” prize. 14 / 177 rd.comDid you hear about the fire in the shoe factory?10,000 soles were lost. The police said some heels started it. 15 / 177 rd.comWhat’s the difference between a rabbit and a plum?They’re both purple except for the rabbit. This joke made be bad, but these other “what’s the difference between” jokes are hilarious! 16 / 177 rd.comTwo windmills are standing on a wind farm.One asks, “What’s your favorite type of music?” The other says, “I’m a big metal fan.” Here are some funny one-liners that are sure to get some laughs. 17 / 177 rd.comI like elephants.Everything else is irrelephant. Read more elephant jokes that are a ton of laughs! 18 / 177 rd.comWhat’s red and bad for your teeth?A brick. 19 / 177 rd.comTwo guys walk into a bar.The third guy ducks. 20 / 177 rd.comWhat do you call a fake noodle?An impasta. If you thought this was funny, you’ll love these other hilarious what do you call jokes. 22 / 177 rd.comDid you hear the story about the claustrophobic astronaut?He just needed some space. 23 / 177 rd.comWhat do you call an alligator in a vest?An in-vest-igator. 24 / 177 rd.comWhat kind of tea is hard to swallow?Reality. Thought that was good? You’ll love these tea puns! 25 / 177 rd.comA man and a giraffe walk into a bar.After a few drinks, the giraffe falls over and dies. The man begins to walk out when the bartender stops him. “Hey, you can’t leave that lyin’ there!” The bartender yells out. The man turns around: “It’s not a lion. It’s a giraffe.” 27 / 177 rd.comThe wedding was so beautiful.Even the cake was in tiers. 28 / 177 rd.comWhy don’t dinosaurs talk?Because they’re dead. Don’t forget to check out these dinosaur jokes for more laughs! 29 / 177 rd.comA dyslexic man walks into a bra.Get it? 30 / 177 rd.comWhat do you call a fly with no wings?A walk. 32 / 177 rd.comWhat did the Buddhist say to the hot dog vendor?Make me one with everything. 33 / 177 rd.comWhat did the janitor say when he jumped out of the closet?“Supplies!” 34 / 177 rd.comIt’s inappropriate to make a “dad joke” if you are not a dad.It’s a faux pa. 35 / 177 rd.comWhat did the buffalo say when his son left?Bison! 37 / 177 rd.comMy new thesaurus is terrible.Not only that, but it’s also terrible. 38 / 177 rd.comWhat do you call a man with no arms and no legs in a pool?Bob.
39 / 177 rd.comWhat do you call a psychic little person who has escaped from prison?A small medium at large. 40 / 177 rd.comWhat’s the most terrifying word in nuclear physics?“Oops!” If biology is more your thing, check out these biology jokes that really cell themselves. 42 / 177 rd.comThree fish are in a tank.One asks the others, “How do you drive this thing?” 43 / 177 rd.comWhat’s the dumbest animal in the jungle?A polar bear. 44 / 177 rd.comWhat do you call a man who can’t stand?Neil. 45 / 177 rd.comI used to be addicted to the hokey pokey…… but then I turned myself around. 47 / 177 rd.comI don’t trust stairs.They’re always up to something. 48 / 177 rd.comWife: “How do I look?”Husband: “With your eyes.” 49 / 177 rd.comWhat’s the best part about living in Switzerland?I don’t know, but the flag is a big plus. 50 / 177 rd.comHave you heard the rumor about butter?Never mind, I shouldn’t be spreading it. 52 / 177 rd.comI submitted 10 puns to a joke-writing competition to see if any of them made the finals.Sadly, no pun in ten did. 53 / 177 rd.comRIP, boiled water.You will be mist. 54 / 177 rd.comWhat do you call a Frenchman in sandals?Phillipe Floppe. 55 / 177 rd.comeBay is so useless.I tried to look up lighters and all they had was 13,749 matches. 56 / 177 rd.comWanna hear two short jokes and a long joke?Joke, joke, jooooooooooooooke. We can all relate to these funny working from home cartoons right now. 57 / 177 rd.comI made a playlist for hiking. It has music from Peanuts, the Cranberries, and Eminem.I call it my trail mix. 58 / 177 What do you do if you see a fireman?Put it out, man! 59 / 177 rd.comThat’s a pretty good ceiling.It’s not the best, but it’s up there! 60 / 177 rd.comI wrote a song about a tortilla.Actually, it’s more of a wrap. 62 / 177 rd.comDid you hear about the kidnapping at school?It’s ok, he woke up. 63 / 177 rd.comWhat’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo?One is really heavy, and the other is a little lighter. 64 / 177 rd.comWhy do you never see pigs hiding in trees?Because they’re pretty good at it. 65 / 177 rd.comYou want to go down to the bar to hear that band called Duvet?They’re a cover band. 67 / 177 rd.comWhat do you call a crocodile that is also a detective?An investi-gator. 68 / 177 rd.comThe only thing flat earthers have to fear...…is sphere itself. 69 / 177 rd.comName one fragrance commercial that has ever made sense.What are you talking about, they all make scents! 70 / 177 rd.comWhere did Noah keep his bees?In the Ark Hives. 72 / 177 rd.comWhat genre are national anthems?Country. 73 / 177 rd.comI hate Russian dolls.They’re so full of themselves. 74 / 177 rd.comA man walks into a pet store and asks for a dozen bees. The clerk carefully counts 13 bees out onto the counter.“That’s one too many!” says the customer. The clerk replies “It’s a freebie.” 75 / 177 rd.comI can cut a piece of wood in half just by looking at it.You might not believe me, but I saw it with my own eyes. 76 / 177 rd.comDid you adopt your dog?No, he’s my biological dog. Check out these other dog jokes that are pawsitively hilarious. 77 / 177 rd.comI bought the newlyweds an elephant for their room.They said, “Thank you.” I said, “Don’t mention it.” 78 / 177 rd.comA limbo champ walks into a bar.He loses. 79 / 177 rd.comWhen the moon hits your knees, and you mispronounce treesSycamore 80 / 177 rd.comHow do you make holy water?You boil the hell out of it. 82 / 177 rd.comWhat did the frustrated cat say?Are you kitten me right meow? Cat hiss ridiculous. 83 / 177 rd.comWhen does a joke become a dad joke?When it becomes apparent. 84 / 177 rd.comThe COVID-19 situation has been especially stressful for the Flat Earth Society.They fear that social distancing measures could push people over the edge. I bet they are excited about flattening the curve, though. 85 / 177 rd.comI got fired from my job at the bank today.An old lady asked me to check her balance, so I pushed her over. 86 / 177 rd.comMy wife just completed a 40-week bodybuilding program this morning.It’s a girl and weighs 7 pounds, 12 ounces. Not to throw more numbers at you, but we have 50 jokes here for all 50 states. 87 / 177 rd.comWhy are there so many different kinds of pasta?If I had a penne for every time I asked myself this question. 88 / 177 rd.comWhat did The Rock say when the waiter offered him a box for his leftovers?I’m not much of a boxer, but I’ll wrestle you for it. 89 / 177 rd.comWhere do you take someone who’s been injured in a peek–a-boo accident?To the I.C.U. 90 / 177 rd.comNurse: Blood type?Dad: Red. By the way, you’ll love these nurse jokes that are RN-believably funny. 91 / 177 rd.comA person is walking down the street and hears a bunch of people in a fenced-in yard shouting, “19! 19! 19! 19!” Curious, he walks over and looks through a hole in the fence.Someone from the other side pokes him in the eye and they all start shouting, “20! 20! 20!” Here are the best jokes from A-Z! 92 / 177 rd.comI went to a wedding where two satellite dishes got married.The ceremony wasn’t great, but the reception was amazing. 93 / 177 rd.comWhat do you call a magician who lost their magic?Ian. 94 / 177 rd.comWhy can’t you explain puns to kleptomaniacs?They always take things literally. 95 / 177 rd.comWhat do you call a blind dinosaur?A do-you-think-he-saurus. 96 / 177 rd.comI had a chip implanted in my body.It was a Cool Ranch Dorito. Yum! 97 / 177 Why is Peter Pan always flying?He neverlands. We love this joke because it never grows old. 98 / 177 rd.comTo kill a French vampire, you need to drive a baguette through its heart.Sounds easy but the process is painstaking. 99 / 177 rd.comWhat do we want? Low-flying airplane noises! When do we want them?NNNNNEEEEEEEOOOOOOOOOOOWWWWWW! 100 / 177 rd.comA weasel walks into a bar and the bartender says, “Wow, I’ve never seen a weasel before. What can I get you?”“Pop,” goes the weasel. 102 / 177 rd.comToday I gave my dead batteries away.They were free of charge. 103 / 177 rd.comWhy do ghosts love elevators?It lifts their spirits. 104 / 177 rd.comFive guys walk into a bar.You think one of them would’ve seen it. 105 / 177 rd.comWho are caterpillars’ biggest enemies?Dogerpillars. 107 / 177 rd.comWhy do you tell actors to break a leg?Every play has a cast. 108 / 177 rd.comWhat do you call an empty can of Cheese Whiz?Cheese Was. 109 / 177 rd.comSomeone stole my mood ring.I don’t know how I feel about that. 110 / 177 rd.comWhat kind of dogs love car racing?Lap dogs. 112 / 177 rd.comMy favorite word is “drool.”It just rolls off the tongue. 113 / 177 rd.comI just wrote a book on reverse psychology.Do not read it. 114 / 177 rd.comWhat do you call birds who stick together?Vel-crows. 115 / 177 rd.comI was sitting in traffic the other day.Probably why I got run over. 117 / 177 rd.comWhere do spaghetti and sauce go to dance?The meatball. 118 / 177 rd.comWhat do you get from a pampered cow?Spoiled milk. If you thought this was funny, you’ll love our other cow jokes! 119 / 177 rd.comThis library has two stories.Can hardly call it a library. 120 / 177 rd.comI like to spend every day as if it’s my last.Staying in bed and calling for a nurse to bring me more pudding. 122 / 177 rd.comHow does your feline shop?By reading a catalog. 123 / 177 rd.comWhat do you call a factory that sells passable products?Satisfactory. 124 / 177 rd.comWhat do you call a dangerous sun shower?A rain of terror. 125 / 177 rd.comWhat do you call a farm that makes bad jokes?Corny. 126 / 177 rd.comWhat’s the last thing that goes through a bug’s mind when it hits a windshield?Its butt. Oop! Try these political jokes on for size at your next family holiday—they’re guaranteed to get you a laugh. 127 / 177 rd.comWhat happens when a frog’s car breaks down?It gets toad. 128 / 177 rd.comI went on a once-in-a-lifetime vacation.Never again. 129 / 177 rd.comParallel lines have so much in common.It’s a shame they’ll never meet. 130 / 177 rd.comWhat did Batman say to Robin before they got in the car?“Robin, get in the car.” 133 / 177 rd.comI took the shell off my racing snail, thinking it would make him faster.If anything, it made him more sluggish. 134 / 177 rd.comMy friend gave me his Epi–Pen as he was dying.It seemed very important to him that I have it. Read these best friend tweets for more laughs. 135 / 177 rd.comHave you heard of Murphy’s Law? Ok, but have you heard of Cole’s Law?It’s thinly-sliced cabbage. 137 / 177 rd.comDid you know Jesus drove a Honda but just didn’t talk about it?John 12:49: “For I did not speak of my own accord.” 138 / 177 rd.comHow do you talk to Italian ghosts?With a Luigi board. 139 / 177 rd.comTime flies like an arrow.Fruit flies like a banana. Don’t forget to bookmark these fruit puns that are berry funny! 140 / 177 Two cows are grazing in a field. One says to the other, “You ever worry about that mad cow disease?”The other cow says, “Why would I care? I’m a helicopter.” 141 / 177 rd.comWhat’s E.T. short for?He’s only got little legs. Science lovers will science-love these physics jokes! 142 / 177 rd.comTwo men meet on opposites sides of a river. One shouts to the other “I need you to help me to get to the other side!”The other guy shouts, “You are on the other side!” 143 / 177 rd.comWhat’s orange and sounds like a parrot?A carrot. 144 / 177 rd.comWhat came first, the chicken or the egg?Safety. Safety always comes first. In the case of these hilarious egg puns, the egg always comes first. 145 / 177 rd.comThis is your captain speaking.AND THIS IS YOUR CAPTAIN SHOUTING. 147 / 177 rd.comCoroner died.Still went to work. If you thought that was funny, you’ll love these work from home jokes. 148 / 177 rd.comWhich rock group has four guys who can’t sing or play instruments?Mount Rushmore. 149 / 177 rd.comI bought a dog from a locksmith.The second I got him in the house he made a bolt for the door. 150 / 177 rd.comWhat’s the difference between ignorance and apathy?I don’t know and I don’t care. 152 / 177 rd.comMy girlfriend broke up with me because I quote Linkin Park too much.But in the end, it doesn’t even matter. 153 / 177 rd.comWhat do you call bears with no ears?B. 154 / 177 rd.comWhat’s a foot long and slippery?A slipper. 155 / 177 rd.comWhat did the swordfish say to the marlin?You’re lookin’ sharp. 156 / 177 rd.comWhat kind of ghost has the best hearing?The eeriest. If you laugh at these dark jokes, you’re probably a genius. 157 / 177 rd.comWhere can you buy soup in bulk?The stock market. 158 / 177 rd.comHow do you stop a bull from charging?Cancel its credit card. 159 / 177 rd.comWhat was the frog’s job at the hotel?Bellhop. 160 / 177 rd.comWhy are the Irish so wealthy?Their capital is Dublin. 162 / 177 rd.comWhat kind of shoes do robbers wear?Sneakers. 163 / 177 rd.comWhy did the invisible man turn down the job offer?He couldn’t see himself doing it. 164 / 177 rd.comWhy are frogs so happy?They eat whatever bugs them. 165 / 177 rd.comWhat do you call banana peel shoes?Slippers. 166 / 177 rd.comDid you hear about the cheese factory that exploded in France?There was nothing left but de Brie. Cheese is classic joke fodder. Here are 17 classic light bulb jokes that’ll make you sound smart. 167 / 177 rd.comWhy were they called the Dark Ages?There were lots of knights. If you have more of a twisted sense of humor, these dark jokes are for you. 168 / 177 rd.comMy boss just texted me,“Send me one of your funny jokes!” 169 / 177 rd.comWant to hear a roof joke?This one’s on the house. 170 / 177 rd.comWhat kind of pants does Mario wear?Denim, denim, denim. 171 / 177 rd.comWhere does the general keep his armies?In his sleevies. This joke is very cuties. Here are 9 secrets to telling a great joke, according to comedians. 172 / 177 rd.comHow does the squid go into battle?Well-armed. 173 / 177 rd.comI broke my finger last week.On the other hand, I’m ok. 174 / 177 rd.comDo you use your right hand to stir your coffee?I use a spoon. Check out these relatable tweets for more laughs. 175 / 177 rd.comYou’re not completely useless.You can always serve as a bad example. By the way, we’re serving up these ice cream puns just for you—check them out! 176 / 177 rd.comWhat do Alexander the Great and Winnie the Pooh have in common?Same middle name. Here are 15 simple (and silly) April Fool’s jokes to play on your kids. 177 / 177 rd.comWhat do you call someone with no body and no nose?Nobody knows. Sources:
Originally Published: January 19, 2022 |