Don t trip over whats behind you

I like this quote because it contains an obvious double meaning. It has a literal as well as a figurative meaning.

The literal meaning is grasped immediately. Its message is so apparent we can move right past it. The literal message is merely an introduction to the more important figurative meaning.

It’s obvious that no one is going to stumble in a PHYSICAL WAY over what’s behind them. What’s behind you cannot be stumbled over because it’s behind you. You stumble over what’s in front of you.

You may have stumbled over what is now behind you when it was in front of you. Or you may have successfully maneuvered around the object.

But either way, the challenge was in the past. It’s over and you’ve either been a victim of the challenge or you’ve been victorious over the challenge. But it’s history at this point.

So the literal physical aspect of the quotation is simple and direct. Past stumbles are in the past. You can’t stumble over what is behind you. It’s behind you. Only obstacles that lie ahead of you can be stumbled over.

Or so it would seem. But there are actually many ways we can stumble over what’s behind us. Let’s explore some of them. We’ve now moved to the figurative meaning of the quote.

You return to the place you previously stumbled.

Sometimes we manage to navigate around treacherous challenges in our life. We see the danger up ahead. We understand the threat. We know what we must do to avoid stumbling.

And we succeed. We move through the challenge successfully and look back with a measure of pride and sense of accomplishment. 

But then, for a reason we may not fully understand, we return to the place of potential stumbling. What does this look like?

It may be that we bring up a past relational issue that had been resolved. We just can’t let it go, so we reintroduce it. Only this time we aren’t so adept at the navigation. And we end up stumbling this time around. It’s so unfortunate. Yet so common.

You fail to learn from your past mistake.

Other times we can see the danger ahead, know what to do, but fail to do what we know. So we stumble. And we fall. And we get bruised up pretty badly. But it’s over and we’re ready to move on.

But not too far down the road, we encounter the same kind of challenge. The same obstacle lies ahead. Again we understand the danger. We know what to do to avoid stumbling.

But we stumble again. We stumble again because we never really learned from the previous stumble. So we make the same mistake again. We err in the same way as before. We stumble again.

In fact, this process can repeat itself countless times. It can even go on for years. I’ve known people who’ve made identical mistakes in the face of the same challenges innumerable times.

As some clever wag once said,

“He hasn’t had 20 years of experience. He’s had one year of experience 20 times.”

That is, they never learned from their previous stumblings. 

It can actually be beneficial to stumble in life. To trip over some challenge or obstacle. But there’s no need to stumble in the same way again and again.

We should learn from our mistakes. There are enough potential stumbling opportunities without repeating the ones we’ve already passed. 

You’re unable to move on from the past.

There’s a difference between learning from past stumblings and failing to move on from them. It’s possible to stumble, then learn the lesson from the stumbling. But fail to move on from it.

For example. Just about everyone has had a relational conflict at some point. Sometimes the conflict is so acute that it ends the relationship permanently. The hindrances that must be overcome to restore the relationship are insurmountable. So the relationship is terminated.

This is usually painful and causes much distress. But it’s just part of the journey of life. We may regret that it happened. We may wish we could have prevented it.

But we were unable to do so. So be it. Now it’s time to move forward. To take with you whatever lessons you can. To learn from the pain and the loss. But to move on in spite of them.

But sometimes this is not done. The person is unable to move on. So they continue to revisit the past. They endlessly think about it, wondering how it might have turned out differently than it did. How they would do it differently if they could have a do-over. Ruminating over their own failure or the failure of someone else. Or both.

This is not healthy. Or healing. The idea is to learn what you can from the experience and then move on from it. To not let it hold you prisoner. To not be held hostage to what you have no power to change. To allow yourself to be tortured by events you can no longer control.

Move on. Learn and move forward. Don’t stumble over what’s behind you. One stumble is enough. 

You refuse to move on from the past.

The inability to move on from a previous stumble is bad enough. What’s worse is REFUSING to move on. In the case of inability to move on, you can often make progress by seeking help. Whether professional assistance or through a trusted friend.

When we REFUSE to move on from the past, it usually indicates an imbalance of some kind. Or some kind of dysfunction. Suffering is inevitable, misery is optional. You don’t have to be miserable because of your mistakes. You don’t need to wallow in your past failures. 

If you have unfinished business from the past, then finish the business. But don’t relive what you cannot change. Accept what cannot be changed as unchangeable. Devote your energy to what you CAN CHANGE. 

• You can’t control when the sun rises each day. But you can set your clock so you can rise at a particular time.
• You can’t control the traffic on the road during your commute. But you can leave early enough to allow for the unknown.
• You can’t control all financial circumstances. But you can establish an emergency fund to get you through what you could not predict.

Accept what you can no longer control. Change what you can. But don’t confuse the two. Don’t refuse to change what is in your power to change. Don’t insist on changing what you cannot control. Getting a handle on these two things and the difference between them can be life-changing.

Summary

So what do we take from this quotation?

• Stumbling over objects in our path is common and to be expected.
• We need not stumble over objects that are now behind us.
• If we return to the place of previous stumbling, we may stumble this time around.
•  We can stumble again if we don’t learn from the previous stumble.
• We can stumble again if we’re unable to move on from the previous stumble.
• We can stumble again if we refuse to move on from the previous stumble.
• If you can change it, change it. If you cannot change it, let it go.

Stumbling once is okay. You can learn from it and be wiser because of it. But as Mark Twain reportedly once said,

“There is nothing to be learned from the second kick of a mule.”

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

You can receive Quotation Celebration automatically in your email inbox by clicking the FOLLOW button at the bottom of this screen and leaving your email address.

You can also find Quotation Celebration on Facebook.

Your comments are most welcome.

Thank you for reading Quotation Celebration.

Copyright © 2018 by Samuel Rodenhizer
All Rights Reserved