Break you
Bucky has himself a Winter Soldier episode, nearly killing his girlfriend as a result.
Words: 2728
Warnings: I think a curse word, some sexy times, ya know… Also so fluffy by the end you’ll feel like Agnes when she looks at her unicorn. At least I think you will. (Despicable Me reference, if ya’ll don’t know) Anyway, I hope you like it. Much love
Originally posted by marvelmarvelmarvel
“Steve, I love him. I need to see him. Maybe I can do something. Maybe I can get through to him.” You said, pleading with one of your best friends like your life depended on his final decision.
“Yea? And what if he breaks you? What if you cant handle it, Y/N? You’ve never dealt with the Winter Soldier before, but I have.”
You looked up at him, arms hugged across your middle, before looking down to the floor.
“I know, Steve, but I have to try.”
The look in your eyes caused Steve’s resolve to crumble at the edges and he reached for you, putting a reassuring hand on each of your arms. “He would want you safe. He would want you protected, Y/N.”
“Steve, we were meant to protect each other. We made that promise. I can’t leave him now. He’s never left me.”
“Y/N, he’s not Bucky Barnes. Not right now. He’s the Winter Soldier. He’s not the man that loves you.”
“What if some part of him recognizes me, like the way he felt he knew you when he pulled you from the river?”
“That was a miracle in itself. I wouldn’t put your life in danger in the hope that it would happen again.”
Somewhere deep down, way, way deep down, you knew that Steve was right, but your love for Bucky and your desperation to see him back to himself overwhelmed any and all of your rational thought.
——————————————————–
Tentatively, you stepped into the room that housed your boyfriend, or at least, what looked like your boyfriend, and shut the door behind you. He stood from the cot up against the back wall, trying to near you, but was halted by the chains that held is arms back. They were stronger than he was, designed for him, and that was the only reason he couldn’t escape his confines. Your heart broke, wanting to run up to him and wrap your arms around his waist, but the look in his eyes doused that feeling.
“Bucky?” You started. He growled at you, slightly resembling an angry dog. “I know you’re confused. I know you don’t know who I am. But…I need you to come back to me.”
You took a step near him and he pulled on his chains, trying once again to break free, but despite your trepidation, you continued to go forward until you were right in front of him. He looked down at you with anger as you looked up with him with love, tears starting to form in your eyes.
Slowly, you reached your hand up to his cheek. He made a small grunting noise, moving his head back slightly before you could touch him. You waited a second before trying again, resting your hand against the stubble along his jaw. He let you. When he didn’t pull away from you, you took it as a positive sign. You removed your hand and his eyes followed you as you took the key from your pocket, the one you had stolen from Steve’s room, and reached behind him to free his wrists.
You barely had time to straighten back up before he grabbed you and shoved you up against the opposite wall, your back hitting hard against the concrete. He looked into your eyes with slight confusion, but he was mad and you could feel the huffs of his breath against your face. You looked up at him with concern, but your love remained.
“Buck—”
He slammed his lips to yours in a hungry kiss so hard you knew your lips would bruise. He kept your arms pinned to your sides, but you returned it, begging to bring some sort of memory of you back to the surface. When he pulled away from you, you thought you had accomplished your goal, but when you opened your eyes to meet the normally, bright blue ones already staring down at you, you knew you hadn’t reached him. He was still lost.
He released you, shoving himself back from you before turning without a second thought and slamming his fist into the door that had kept him hostage. It fell, like a piece of paper if you had tried to stand it up straight.
You ran after him through the living room and stopped in the kitchen before calling after him. “Bucky!”
He stopped in his tracks and turned to you. Once again, you had hope, you thought he was coming back to you. He recognized his name enough to freeze his movements.
He jerked around to face you, and instantly walked towards you looking like he wanted to kill you. You took steps back from him as he neared you until your lower back hit the island in the middle of the kitchen. He didn’t stop as if he could just walk right through you and before you knew it you had a metal hand around your neck.
You couldn’t breathe and you hit at his arm as if you were strong enough to pry it from your throat. He was crushing you like a fly. You thought the shell of the man you loved was going to kill you until you saw a chair slam against the back of his head. He quickly released you and you dropped to the ground, slamming your knees on the tiled floor and desperately trying to get some air back into your lungs.
When you looked up Wanda was there. She had moved the chair to hit him and now held him in place by his arm, that red magic swarming around the metal. “Y/N, are you ok?” She said, her features contorted in an awkward pinched expression. Clearly, holding back the Winter Soldier was harder than anticipated.
Wanda never took her eyes off the man in front of her, but at the mention of your name, his head jerked back to you. When you locked eyes, he began jerking his metal arm, trying to get free as if Wanda’s magic were lions teeth imbedding into his skin. Her magic gripped him tighter and sent him to his knees, but you couldn’t look away from him. He was still your boyfriend.
“Wanda, wait!” You yelled, raising a hand to her while you unsteadily stood on your feet.
“Y/N, are you crazy?” She yelled, still concentrating her hardest to keep Bucky away from you.
“Wanda, just listen to me!!!”
“Y/N…” She pleaded.
“Let him go…”
“Y/N!!!”
“Just do it, Wanda…Bucky won’t hurt me.”
“This isn’t Bucky!!! He just had this fingers around your throat!” She yelled before calling for Steve.
Steve came rushing around the corner, his mind and eyes going wild at what he saw before him. “What is going on?” He started before turning to you. “Y/N, you let him go!?”
“Steve!” Wanda yelled, snapping his attention back to her. “Just grab her. I can’t hold him forever.”
Steve rushed up behind you and grabbed you by your waist, pulling you farther away from Bucky.
“Steve, get off me!” You started slapping at his inhuman arms, but he just gripped tighter. “Steve, please!! Let me just get to him.”
“Looks like you tried that already, kid.”
Wanda let out a grunt as her strength failed and her magic unraveled itself from Buckys metal arm. “Steve!” she yelled to get his attention just as the Winter soldier descended on the two of you. When he got too close, Steve let out a frustrated huff and shoved you to the side so he could fight his friend. But the minute the captain’s arms were off you, Bucky seized all together and turned to you.
Taking the second he could, Steve rammed his knee into Buckys side, causing him to topple over in surprise and let out a harsh cough.
“Steve, stop!” You nearly screamed.
“Y/N, do you have any idea what you’ve done?” He continued, his fist now slamming into the floor where Buckys head was a second before. Bucky whipped around and kicked Steve in the back, forcing him to slam into the floor.
The fight was over so fast that you still didn’t have time to register what was going on, just that now you knew your boyfriends metal arm was wrapped across your neck, holding you to his chest, and his other held a gun to your head.
Steve held his hands up in surrender, a look of worry on his typically soft features and he rose to take his place near Wanda. “Ok, ok, don’t hurt her. We will let you go if you just give her over.”
“Bucky..” You half whispered half cried, but hearing that name from your lips again caused him to tighten his hold on you until you couldn’t speak when you tried to whisper his name again. You met Steve’s eyes and tried desperately to silently portray with your eyes that you weren’t scared and that you would be ok, not matter the end result.
Steve and Wanda had no choice but to stand twenty feet in front of you both as Bucky began to drag you away from them to the elevator to take you to god knows where. The truth was, you were scared. Not for yourself really, but for the man you loved. He needed to come back to you, to himself. You knew he was exhausted from his own fear of the Winter Soldier completely taking over him, mind and body, and more than anything you had wanted to protect him from that. But, you had failed him.
Before another horrendous thought could enter your mind, Bucky slammed the gun into the side of your head and you fell to the ground, seeing nothing but complete darkness.
———————————————————
You awoke in a place you had never been, snuggled deeply into long, soft couch. It was mostly dark, only lit by the fire wildly swaying in the confines of the fireplace, but it was enough for you to see some details of what you discovered was a small cabin. It walls were dark wood, matching the floors and the door to your left. It was cozy, but odd, definitely odd.
You needed to collect your memories, but had no idea where to start as you sat up with the wool blanket around you and hugged your knees to your chest, your back rested against the arm of the couch.
Even though you couldn’t remember all that had happened and why you were in this small cabin, you remembered Bucky and the Winter Soldier. You remembered him kissing you with a certain anger you had never seen from him before. You remembered Wanda and Steve begging for him to let you go as he held a gun to your head. So, naturally, at this point, you assumed your lost time had something to do with Bucky. You didn’t know what he had done, but you had an idea as you rubbed the side of your head, feeling a small bump accompanied by a dull ache.
Suddenly, you craved water. You had no idea how long it had been since you had a drink, but you needed one. And, as if reading your thoughts, a door to what you assumed had to be the kitchen, creaked open and your boyfriend slipped through with a glass of water in his hand. He looked at it carefully as if trying to not let it spill when he looked up and stalled in place as he met your E/C eyes.
Bucky opened and closed his mouth a couple times trying to find the right thing to say, anything that would explain the situation, why you were here, what had happened, how desperately he wanted to apologize. You didn’t care. You knew he was back and that was all that mattered, so you smiled, and it was enough to encourage him to move closer to you and set the glass of water on the coffee table closest to you before taking the seat in front of you.
“Hi.” You attempted, but he didn’t smile back. “Bucky, its ok, I know—”
“Its not ok.” He said, leaning forward in the chair and clasping his hands in front of him. He wouldn’t look at you and it broke your heart.
“Don’t pull away from me.”
“Y/N—” He signed.
“No! Don’t you dare! I will not lose you Bucky Barnes! I won’t! I don’t care what happened!”
“I do!” He growled, standing and running a hand through his hair then turning to pace. “Y/N, I could’ve killed you…”
Frustrated, you stood in front of him, knocking the blanket the floor at your feet in the process. “But you didn’t. I know you remembered me, somehow. Do you remember everything?”
“Yes…” He whispered, his head down in shame.
You reached your hands up and placed them on either side of his scruffy cheeks, forcing his eyes to look directly into yours. They were sad, but the bright color was back in them. “You knew your name.”
“It angered me.”
“You kissed me.”
“Aggressively.”
“You knew me.”
“I saw you as a threat. I felt it, the confusing feelings, the love, and I wanted to crush it. I…I wanted to crush you. I knew you were the source. Y/N, what if I accomplished my intentions? What if I killed you?”
“You didn’t.”
“But I could have.”
“What stopped you then?”
He was silent for a moment, surprised at the answer he knew he had to your question. “I…I brought you here. I wanted to…to torture you, demand why I felt these things. I figured you tricked me somehow, messed with my brain and I wanted answers. But you were still unconscious so I put you on the couch, and when I looked at you I felt…regret, for hurting you, for wanting to torture you and I…I backed down. I don’t know how, I’ll never really know how, but I came to my senses. I came back and when I saw you I cried.”
“Bucky…” You whispered. “That video hydra sent to the tower…It should’ve never reached you. Those words…” You continued, shaking your head. “Someone should have been with you…”
“It’s no ones fault, but my own.” He said, as he turned his head to kiss your palm with his chapped lips.
“Do you want to leave?”
“Leave?”
“The tower. Find our own place, somewhere away from it all where they can’t get you. Only come back when the Avengers need us.”
Buckys eyes stared intensely into yours. “You would do that?”
“I would do anything…for you.”
“Doll…” He smiled. “I love you so much, so damn much.”
A chuckled slipped past your lips. “I love you, too.”
“Could we stay here? For a couple days?”
“Of course, but…where is here?”
“Old safe house. I would come here after an ‘episode’ before Steve found me again.”
You looked around and smiled, noticing the small details of your boyfriend in the corners of the cabin and sprinkled around. “We can stay as long as you want.”
FINALLY, Bucky leaned down and kissed you. It conveyed everything he felt, his love, his apologies, his desperation for you, and you returned it, doing your best to express the same with the movement and passion of your lips against his. “Make love to me.” You whispered between your kisses.
“You have no idea how much I want to.” He replied, pecking your lips once more. “Bed?”
“No. Floor. Now.”
“But…”
“Floor. Now. I want you now.”
Slowly, he guided you to the floor, following quickly after you and placing his body on top of yours. You stripped each other, and he roamed his calloused hands along your body making you moan his name. And when he entered you, it felt like your world was complete. As if you hadn’t had sex with him in ages and not just a few days ago, before the ‘incident.’
Slowly, he thrust into you, whispering praises that only spurred your desire for him. Everything was going to be ok, you just knew it. Bucky loved you and you loved him and you both knew it would be more than enough to save each other.
“I love you.” His whispered into your ear before kissing the spot right under it that he knew drove you wild.
“I love you.” You whispered back. “Always.”
“Always.”
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